Bender Street

‘Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn.’ Jack Kerouac

Horseshoe Falls

Niagara Falls

Although Balls Falls was beautiful and hilarious I really wanted this adventure to have a BIG finish! Boasting a drop of 165ft with more than six million cubic feet of water hurling over the crest of the falls per minute and a free firework display, well, it seemed rude not to. (Go that is)

I booked a night in the iconic ‘Tower Hotel’ which apart from welcoming the likes of Marilyn Monroe and Frank Sinatra looked like it was straight out of a 70’s disaster movie. Perfect.

 

Because the modern American tourist has to have a room the size of a football pitch with a unicorn shaped Jacuzzi, the faded splendour of the (perfectly sized for human beings) Tower Hotel’s rooms comes at a surprising bargain price. Even more so when you see the view. I think I scooped my chin off the floor and wet myself all-in-one-go:

 

Sadly disappointing view from The Towering Inferno Hotel Niagara

You can explore the falls in an abundance of ways from boat, to zip-wire or the more traditional falling-over-the-side. I chose the exciting ‘Journey Behind the Falls’ experience, I really just wanted to get up close for a photo without dying. I’d watched the ferry passengers on ‘Maid in the Mist’ and wasn’t convinced everyone got back alive. So I donned my not-at-all waterproof mac and shuffled underground with the rest of the minions.

Shepherded into large lifts you plummet 125ft whilst a tired, spotty teenager regurgitates the required statistics with the enthusiasm of a dead parrot. You arrive into a wet concrete tunnel and are propelled forward, trance like, towards the light . . . and thunderous wall of sound.

 

 

 

 

Now I think its worth mentioning at this stage dear reader that I was utilising my diving-proof-phone -cover again (so successfully used whilst snorkelling if you remember?!). No I wasn’t clutching my phone in fear and wiping it on my soggy jeans like the other minions, oh no, smug is the word. The thing is. Well. It seems that you should probably wipe the cover occasionally to keep the lens clear. For a decent photo an all.

So Ladies and gentlemen I present ‘Jane at Niagara Falls!’:

 

Its a wonder she survived . . . the talented Miss Beckley

I think this is my favourite, I queued for 15 minutes to get this photo of me right behind the falls:

 

Me behind the wall of water. . .once-in-a-lifetime-selfie . . .

Of course I hadn’t got this far without learning that it was prudent to take at least two hundred photos so maybe one would turn out sort of OK.

Apart from being very wet and monstrously loud, it was of course. . . stunning!

Bender Street

Now after the excitement of not slipping to my doom at Horse Shoe Falls I had a little wandering time before the anticipated majesty of the evening fireworks. Niagara Falls is part beautiful natural history and part Las Vegas. Where fairground rides sit next to Casino restaurants and every few minutes there is a wild explosion of fire from the top of a huge fake volcano. Unbelievable.

So I was already sauntering around smirking to myself when I happened upon an unexpected treat. Yes, I hadn’t planned Bender Street, it wasn’t on my Jane’s-world-map-of stupidly-named-places but here it was the icing on my Niagara cake. I literally laughed out loud and while other tourists looked on perplexed I gleefully took a picture:

Bender Street, the cherry on the cake

 

Final Finale

Every night throughout the summer season the generous folks of Niagara put on a free fireworks show over the falls. The delight begins as the sun sets and a giant rack of lights  are shone directly at the water. The effect is luminous. So shake a martini, slip on your fluffy mules and enjoy the Turner-esque beauty of the falls at night:

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Moon River 

It was the perfect last night. I loved it. A celebration of every where I’ve been.

All of which I owe to my wonderful grandparents Bob and Joyce from whom I inherited not just a talent for drawing and cheating at cards (!) but a chance to see the world. I’m sure that many people might suggest this adventure was a reckless use of funds but I have no regrets. Having a mortgage, owning a car are not the important things.

Jack is right you see.

‘Because in the end you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn.Climb that goddam mountain!’

 

Next stop Spankers Hill wood . . .and Home!!!!!!!